For The Bohol Tribune
In This Our Journey
NESTOR MANIEBO PESTELOS
This week has been
quite a ride. I had to be in Manila with my two sons, Gabe and Odon, to attend
the wedding of another son, my namesake, from a previous relationship, whose
mother passed away years ago due to illness which I ascribed to stresses and
worries on account of her incarceration under the martial law regime.
The day after we
arrived, my son brought us to her future wife’s family and I dutifully answered
anticipated queries on my life story. I felt I had to assure them that despite
the convulsions in my personal life decades before, I started all over again in
Bohol and now I am living quite a normal life. Although they were civil about
it, I knew I had to somehow erase possible worries that they might have about my past and their daughter’s future as
part of our family.
A day before the
wedding, a Sigma Deltan, from a sorority allied with our fraternity, Upsilon
Sigma Phi, during our student days at UP Los Banos, arranged lunch at a Makati
Resto so I could meet three fraternity brothers whom I had not seen for half a century.
Over a two-hour lunch, the topic was more on what happened to me from the time
I disappeared from the campus in the late Sixties. They saw each other quite
often after graduation and I sensed how close their families were since they
maintained contact over the years and had no need to be in some kind of question-and-answer
forum during lunch.
During the wedding
ceremony held at the chapel near what is called the Archbishop’s Palace in
Mandaluyong and the reception at a restaurant called Lemuria at nearby
Horseshoe Village, the overriding theme of the various events in which I
participated was that of starting over again.
While on the plane
back to Tagbilaran, in-between naps and exchanging smiles and occasional
pleasantries with the pretty and heavily made up Air Asia stewardesses, I
preoccupied the conscious and subconscious part of my brain with thoughts about
what seemed to be the art and science of starting over again. I realized that this
theme prosaically termed starting over again is quite a dominant one in our personal
and real life, in literature or sometimes in our own imagination.
Outside the routine
of daily existence, this theme is elegantly packaged as, say, hope and
redemption, death and resurrection, despair and triumph of the spirit, and so
on. This theme of falling and rising each time we fall and similar admonitions
from early childhood to old age, in the inevitable journey from birth to the end
of mortal life, we are caught in what seems to be the Art and Science of
Starting Over Again, presumably after we fall.
The Art aspect may
refer to the unique ways we do it as in writing a poem and doing a painting;
each one decides on how to start a new life from the ashes of our misfortunes,
so to speak. Do we start another fire and do we collect the ashes and bury them
so that we can have a symbolic gesture to begin a new Life? Indeed we start all
over again in our own unique way.
The Science bit is
how to do the basics of logic-based methodology of slaying the dragons of
incomplete knowledge, misconceptions and subjectivism in defining new
objectives and strategies as we mend the mental fences wreaked by
miscalculation in our planning and in reading motives of friends and other
relations involved somehow in our day-to-day decisions.
And so it came to
pass as I went through the wedding ceremony as a father to the groom, whose
visits to our place became fewer each year which was probably his assertion of
independence, financial or emotional, half of my brain was processing the
circumstances of our life together, its ups and downs, and the many starting
overs we had to go through as we sought to define and re-define our respective
roles as father and son through varying stages of growth and reflection and re-growth.
And so it came to
pass as I narrated briefly during the wedding reception our story as father and
son in the context of a people’s struggle against injustice and oppression and
eventual liberation, at least in symbolic terms rather than in substance, half
of my brain was processing the myths and phantoms of imagination we have
pursued and discarded over the years characterized by countless starting overs,
each time with a resolve to have a new lease in life despite previous downfall
and misfortunes.
And so it came to
pass as I answered queries regarding where I have been during the past half a
century from highly-esteemed fraternity brothers Gerry Collado, Rey Villareal
and Naz Racoma, whom I knew as college scholars during our UPLB days and are now
distinguished alumni from Harvard, Rutgers, Cornell and AIM, half of my brain
was processing the life and times of 33 of our generation, arrested, tortured
and made to vanish from mortal existence to achieve immortality in the lives of
those who continue to start the struggle all over again in the hills and slums
and remote islands using digital tools of mass awareness and redemption from
poverty and despair.
In-between those
events related to family life and social affiliations, which have endured
through decades of physical absence and non-Facebook existence, I have subsisted on a mixed mental diet of
news from both print and TV and it gave me a sense that this country after
several administrations run by the elite
classes, is also going through a process of starting all over again.
The recent national
election was framed in the popular imagination as a battle between good and
evil. Which side you are on depends on which candidate you choose and not the
party to which you belong.
Indeed it’s
democracy Philippine-style which is actually reflective of the cacique system,
of landlordism, in the context of a modern capitalist state with landowners
owning the means and tools of the new market place and have evolved into lords of industry and political power
while the poor remain poorer and multiply their kind so many times over year
after year.
As in previous
after-elections scenario, the elected Great Leader has proclaimed a new era of
CHANGE in capital letters and portrayed himself as the knight in shining armor
this time ready to charge the windmills of crime, illegal drug trade, corruption
and incompetent governance.
This starting-over-again
drama, however, has a new plot, interesting and creative in several respects:
-a President, self-proclaimed leftist of a different hue but
actually neither of both sides, committed to eliminating crimes and to
decentralized governance through Federalism but showing dictatorial tendencies
and also crude public behavior(perhaps only for appearances to appeal to macho
psychology of the Filipinos, probably part of the Art of Starting Over Again, eh?)
;
-a Vice President,
self-proclaimed pro-poor leader but without portfolio in an administration that
is supposed to be pro-poor;
-a minority party of
3 members transforming itself as a majority coalition for change across diverse
political persuasions signing up more
than 300 members in less than three weeks after election, which validates the
view that our politics still revolves around personalities, feudal and dynastic
lords actually, rather than principles and firm stand on issues;
-the party of the
proletariat transforming itself as collaborator of the predominantly elite classes
in a coalition of convenience to get better deals in a global capitalist-driven economy for the
benefit of bigger nations and their monopolist investors;
-the majority
religions trying to gain moral leadership and political influence after harsh
criticisms about some lapses indicating corrupt practices and moral lapses
among some bishops and priests;
-the militant youth
and labor sectors unable to mount credible opposition and expand their mass
base to be an effective force for social transformation in Philippine society;
-the established
mass media, particularly those in Metro Manila, being mocked almost from day to
day by the President-elect as being tools of vested interests rather than a
credible partner for nation-building;
-the social media
now dominated by the more articulate and affluent among the youth who use
irreverence, as well as weird syntax and language, to confuse their elders and
attract attention to themselves in pursuit of the greater love of self; and
-the continuing
practice to mix entertainment gossips and publicity stories with legitimate
news in programs broadcast nation-wide followed by soap operas from 7.30 to
10.30 p.m. Monday to Friday to feed our voracious appetite with mostly romantic
stories about love triangles and juvenile loves.
Now back to the
scene of my son and his bride getting married in a Catholic ritual with a
priest who now and then would interrupt in good humor recitation from a
prepared script. At one point, he said he knew my son was not that religious
but he should follow the counsel of the Church and those present in this most
solemn of ceremony so he and his wife would remember Christ always and the need
to love and serve Him.
There was no mention
about the country and the poor but, I suppose, it was sort of given that you
consecrate your marriage vows in the unspoken context of liberating the poor
from the constraints of poverty and inequality. Otherwise, despite our privileges
and entitlements, we will be distracted now and then by noise of protests and
probably gunfire, in a country now on the eve of starting all over again in a
never-ending cycle of hope, despair, redemption, despair, hope …
I now enjoin our
teleserye nation to kneel and pray as we start all over again a new cycle of despair
and redemption - hopefully with the real heroes and heroines
winning in the end.
For comments, email: npestelos@gmail.com
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NMP/24Jun2016/11.36 a.m.