For The Bohol Tribune
In This Our Journey
NESTOR MANIEBO PESTELOS
This week will be
one not quite easy to forget due to the message it brings about death and
rebirth, of suicide and metamorphosis. It’s one of those weeks that builds one’s capacity to hope and persevere despite
sufferings and uncertainties.
First was the news
about a priest ending his life by hanging himself. I felt something within me wanting to die, too,
upon hearing the news from an early morning radio program broadcast live
globally through the web. It must be a feeling shared by Filipinos who were listening
in several countries in varying time zones.
I have
heard of previous suicide cases in Bohol but this one is most shocking because
it involves someone who is supposed to be a source of hope in times of
distress. As soon as I heard the news, I posted it on Facebook at 9.10 a.m. on
Tuesday, 28 June.
In
that post, I noted: “First time I heard a case of a priest committing suicide.
This seems to indicate the need for counselling services to be available. A
priest is supposed to be a source of hope. What led him to kill himself?”
It was
announced that there would be an official statement to be issued by the Diocese
of Tagbilaran. Meanwhile, I preoccupied myself reading comments on my post
which came within the hour after posting, something like a knee-jerk response
to the shocking news.
From Sydney,
Australia, Belen Mendoza writes:
“I've worked and lived with priests and nuns
for many years, 36 years to be exact. It doesn't make me an expert on how to
handle them but it allows us to communicate with them to ease the challenges in
their vocation/mission.
“I
hope with what happened, it will open our eyes and minds to be a little kinder
and supportive to their noble mission. I think, we Filipinos, put our priests
in pedestals. As such, they try to live from our expectations that they try to
be perfect in our eyes.
“They
are humans,too, like us. They are messengers of God, delivering His Word for us
so that with His Word OUR JOY MAY BE COMPLETE! They are not God. ( i hope this does not sound like a homily. )
Priests do choose their own confessor that they are comfortable with. For the
lack of a confessor, they need an ear who will listen and a shoulder they can
lean on. This is where lay people like us can help especially when they are
thousands of miles away from family. Let us pray for his soul.”
From San Diego,
California, Naomi JD Esguerra Saboura has this to say:
“Hi
Nestor, like what Lolabee said, priests are humans too. He must have been
suffering from some form of mental illness, most likely severe depression.
Depression, like diabetes, is a disease; a disease of the brain. It is
treatable but not curable.
“While not all
people suffering from depression are suicidal, it is the leading cause of
suicide. Priests, nuns, doctors, scientists, etc are not immune from mental
illness. People with mental illness hide their problem because of the stigma
associated with it.
“In our parish here
in San Diego, we have a mental health ministry. The goal is to eradicate the
stigma of mental illness, through education. We provide community resources,
spiritual support and prayers to those who seek our help. Pls update &
post..I will share this with our ministry. Let's pray for the repose of his
soul, and for those he left behind, esp his family. They must be in pain.”
Naomi says in
another post: “Here is the statistics in the US: 1 out of 4 people suffer from
depression. In the past 2-3 years we have 2 suicide [cases] in our parish, and
they are Filipino parishioners.”
Rodolfo C. Kintanar,
former classmate and class 1987 president at the Asian Institute of Management,
commented: “There was a conflict he could not resolve
except through self-destruction. Nes. Too bad nobody was able to reach out to
him. But then God has a reason for allowing it to happen.”
In response to
him, I said: “Our social workers and psychologist must be able to look deeper
into this case. First time in my life I heard of such a case.”
He replied: “There
are other ways of suicide Nes. Running into a head on collision with another
vehicle. Or disappearing at sea. Look at it this way: Heaven needed the priest
immediately. God's ways are many and strange.”
Ah, OK, something like dark humor, but it was an effort to ease the
pain.
Fr. Fernando Po, fellow advocate against drug abuse, says: “unfathomable... unthinkable.
Irreconcilable ... unreasonable! I knew Fr. Mar... he was my student in the
college seminary ... quiet & unassuming... humble & simple! everything
now is between him & god! the human side of him ruled over his life...
satan did it... can i say that?”
Megg Borja, who
works at Raffles & Co. in Quezon City, says: “We all need a lot of
unconditional caring.”
Rene Francisco, CEO
of FITWBK Chemical Dependency Center in Laya, Baclayon has this to say: “Thru
my experience with helping people I came across three priests, one from
Scotland and two Pilipinos...they all said one of the biggest problem of
priests is extreme loneliness...depression can trigger self-destruction.”
Al Palomar, literary
critic based in Norman, Oklahoma, has this theory: “The priest needs our
compassion. Celibacy has never been good for anyone ---priests or no priest.
Not healthy either because it could also trigger prostate cancer. It would work
only if priests were also eunuchs.”
Dody Aspiras from Fremont,
California opines: “The priest's suicide could have been triggered by dementia
with lewy bodies, the disease that drove Robin Williams to his death, also by
suicide - an uncontrollable urge.”
Lex Librero, retired
professor from UP Los Banos, says: “It’s strange to me.” OMG, says Delia Velez
Realista from Cagayan de Oro City. Lolita Castañeda-Ayaay of Antipolo City
says: “May Jesus by his great mercy have forgiven the poor parish priest.” “Sad,” says Leila Manding-Café of Albur,
Bohol.
Teresita Crisogono
from Las Vegas and Marlene Paje Rodriguez, former NEDA Director for Region 7
both shared suspicion there might be foul play. The police however confirmed it
to be suicide, not murder.
Rene Eune Pueblos Ponte from
Loon, Bohol says, “Our prayers!”,
while Rosalinda Maguan Monsanto Sumicad a nurse from Newcastle upon
Thyne, England, has this to say: “The Lord God is the Supreme & Ultimate
Judge for all of us... may he rest in peace ' Sir Nestor Maniebo Pestelos....our sympathy to the bereaved family & friends & the church
too...”
I
received a record 49 likes and comments in a little more than an hour,
indicating keen interest and high level of sympathy for the priest who took his
own life. Sources said that he had been suffering from colon cancer and the
pain must have driven him to take his own life.
The
pain must have been so great that it overwhelmed his faith, which considers
suicide as sin. It has to be considered, too, that not all who suffer from
colon cancer resort to suicide. A local paper reported an excerpt from the
official statement from the Diocese of Tagbilaran:
“This
sad incident might have shaken the faith of some of our brothers and sisters,
but we pray that the grace of God will turn this mourning into a profound
experience of faith and a more intimate personal relationship with God. With
God’s mercy and guidance, we resolve to strengthen our solidarity anchored on
love, humility, and compassion—the Priesthood of Christ,” said [Bishop] Medroso.
I did
a little bit of research in the internet and I found that the Philippines has
still the lowest suicide rate in Asia:
Suicides
per 100,000 people per year
- South Korea
(28.9)
- Japan (18.5)
- Myanmar (13.1)
- Thailand (11.4)
- Cambodia (9.4)
- Laos (8.8)
- China (7.8)
- Singapore (7.4)
- Brunei (6.4)
- Vietnam (5)
- Indonesia (4.3)
- Malaysia (3)
- Philippines
(2.9)
The World
Health Organization (WHO) reported however that somebody commits suicide every
40 seconds.
For
the past years, according to the report, suicide rates all over the world have
risen, including in the Philippines. Data from the National Statistics Office
noted that in the Philippines, the suicide rate from 1984 to 2005 went up from
0.46 to seven out of every 200,000 men; up from 0.24 to two for every 200,000
women.
While
the figures might seem insignificant compared with those from neighboring
countries that recorded the highest suicide rates, the increase in numbers is
noticeably high.
It is
a common misconception that suicides are a Western and developed country
phenomena. The truth is, it is a major global health problem that occurs
in every part of the world.
The WHO analyzed 10 years of research and data on suicide from around the
world, involving 172 countries. It was found out that:
- Around 800,000
people kill themselves every year.
- Southeast Asia
made up over a third of the annual rate.
- It was the 15th
leading cause of death for 2012 all over the world; second among
young people, aged 15 to 29.
- Those over 70
were the most likely to take their own lives.
- Seventy five
percent of global suicide occurred in low- and middle-income countries in
2012.
- In richer
countries, three times as many men as women die by suicide.
- The most
suicide-prone countries were Guyana (44.2 per 100,000), followed by North
and South Korea (38.5 and 28.9 respectively).
- The most
frequently used methods globally are pesticide poisoning, hanging and
firearms, but jumping from buildings is a common method in highly
urbanized areas in Asia.
In
Bohol, there was the high-profile case of a young father shooting to death his
wife and two sons inside their burning care before committing suicide. There
were unconfirmed reports of young people committing suicide due to drug abuse,
depression and other causes. It’s about time an in-depth study be undertaken of
these cases as basis for counselling in schools, offices, churches and clinics.
We need to get the hotline we can call in case we suspect that somebody seems
to be on the verge of committing suicide.
Lack
of communication with someone who can listen has been cited in some studies as
the reason for suicide cases.
Despite
the gloom brought about by the suicide of the parish priest of Loboc, the week
has brightened up with the proclamation of the 16th President of the
Philippines, former Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte. True to his word, the
whole nation saw his “metamorphosis,”
his own word, from a foul-mouthed local executive to somebody we all can
respect, not only by the 16 million Filipinos who voted for him, but by the
entire country.
I
think the whole nation agrees with the editorial of the country’s number 1
newspaper, the Philippine Daily Inquirer, in its July 1 issue, which says that
“by the end of his stirring inaugural address, there were more people rooting
for him”
Indeed
on the first hour of his Presidency, the new head of state has succeeded to
show he has transformed himself into a leader with a vision valid and broad
enough to unite us all against the evils of crime and illegal drugs, as well as
corruption in the government.
Truly
the week has been a journey from grief brought about by the suicide of a priest
to a celebration of hope in the transformation of a new leader with potential
to unite us to build a stronger and more prosperous Philippines. For comments, email npestelos@gmail.com ###
NMP/2 July 2016/12.01 a.m.
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